F#ck your freebies, funnels and sales pages! I’m so done!
Those were the words I said to myself.
I was so over it. The constant pressure to perform for Facebook and Ig and a community that felt like imaginary invisible observers.
I hated the algorithm… it’s not why I loved social media.
For me social media was a tool to connect with people all over the world.. being an instrument to amplify my message.
But my message became so fluff. I was turned off by who I had become. A participant in this content creation machine that seemed never enough. Afraid to be cancelled if I led with my heart.
I hired a company to do my website. 12 grand and they didn’t even finish it. This company was so prestige. All the top influencers used this company and it was such a waste of my time and money. I had to rebuild my website from scratch.
I hired an influencer to support me with marketing. No follow up nor no real value.. just telling me to spend more money on a website. More money on a shoot. She said my content was wack.
My previous mentor said just post. It doesn’t matter just keep showing up.
But I didn’t want to.
Everything the so called experts said, I was game. Even if it meant overriding my own intuition.
Until I realized I was trying to outsource my masculine warrior energy.. I was trying to outsource the foundation of safety, curiosity and more importantly my unique expression.
Well needless to say I let go of all it.
The inner pressure to perform.
The external pressure of what everyone expected.
I realized what I was truly battling was myself.
My self doubt and insecurity.
Hear me out.
When my grandmother transitioned, I began to question my legacy. I saw how quickly things fell part. How quickly her things were taken and sold. I began to question what is a legacy.
As time went on, the evidence piled up.
My legacy could be deleted so quick.
Clients had published my content as their own. Followers had plagiarized my website word for word. Retreat participants created their own retreats with my exact content. But then turned around and critiqued my work.
There was no real legacy.
Nothing in my mind could withstand 2 hours on social media with the millions of posts.
I doubted and let that fear consume me
It was my own energy consumed with fear that got in my way.
So I let go and focused on what couldn’t be replicated.
And more importantly my art.
I focused on creating beauty.
I channeled my anger in creating the most heartfelt story that captured my pain of not being to conceive into a beautiful work of art that I’m so excited to one day publish.
I focused on the things that lit me up.
And I let go of all the crap that didn’t.
Little by little I started to come back online and really appreciate the content creators that I felt aligned with. There are so many people that create from the heart.
I took my power back and it felt good.
To create when I wanted.
To focus on creating beauty.
To honor what had got me here.
And to let go of everything weighing me down.
I’m still in the question of what is my legacy but I know the question in itself is leading me every step of the way.
Feels so good to be back.. on my terms.
Don’t be afraid to disappear and come back home to you as many times as needed.
Your energy is your legacy!
I love you!